Vinyl

Two years on the same record
Three words were spoken at the same beat
Three words with a different meaning
I'll let you decide on what they are
The guessing game
The game on where we decide on which song will be next
No need for repeat you'll scratch the record
"Break it you buy it." Should be the new slogan
On account of the "I'm sorry's" I've heard in two years
Which one was more real than the other?
Back to the record
It holds deep meaning but is now scratched
Do we buy a new one or continue our game?

September 13th

Dear mother, if it was easy to say the words that I feel would they still hold meaning or would they be dull like the shallow breaths you once took? Would my life still hold meaning now that I no longer have to force a smile even though on the inside I was dying watching the light fade from your eyes.

Dear mother, can you still hear me mother? Your birthday was 15 days in counting. Do you know that it's past a fortnight from your birthday and I'm still carrying the heaviness in my chest like I've just lost you the night before even though it's been two years since your passing and I'm still waiting for the third in counting.

Dear mother, three children bear the loss of their mother but only one truly suffers the most because they've endured your pain. Then seen the countless nights of sleeping in a dirt stained van with only take out foods to eat because we had no place to call home, not even the people we called family could bear us a room with open arms saying "Take this is a home open for everyone."  I've seen the nights of walking through sandy mud walking to the free land for a better life only to be returned to a land I once called home only to learn I was not a native there but only you and a man I called father. The nights where I would beg you not to go to work because your body was aching but you had a third child on the way and your second man was not suitable enough to change his ways and give us money to fill our aching bellies and heat our small home on those cold nights.

Journal/Freewrite Activity: 2 8/27/14

The temperature reached 103° Fahrenheit in Brownsville, Texas. Heat waves gradually rose from the ground turning Brownsville into a desert. The day was not bright, but rather yellow, as if the the world was a camera, and its effects had been chnaged from normal to sepia. This has been the coldest temperature in ten years.

Grass has been reduced on our lawns like the hair on a forty year olds mans head and our resacas have drained to where if you were flying above us you'd think they were the veins of our torn down city.

The reduction of water and food has brought us down to our barbaric roots. If a single drop were to come from your drain leaving a stain it's sure to follow that a mob of savages will appear with buckets, begging for a drop.

Those with resources have fled the land going to faraway places that support their needs. Many that remain have either nowhere to go or refuse to leave their motherland that breeds them.

We beg for water to return and have received nothing, but our hopes continue, having faith that surrounding cities, states, or governments will save us. Even if we have to wait until our last drop of water.

Mother

I remember when the days were longer
The nights seemed so far away
An aching breath keeping us steady
As you laid on your death bed

Tubes feeding your body things you couldn't say
Words too foreign for your native tongue
Unbearable to watch the heaviness of your chest
Like the weight of the world is on you

Maybe it was, as three children watched you die
Each day a piece of yourself lost
Not too slow but not too fast
Maybe that's why it wqs harder to let go

Perhaps thats why my memory is faded
Parhaps that's why I barely remember your voice
Perhaps that's why my heart aches
For a long lost teacher like yourself

The Perfect Crime

The moonlight accentuates her beautiful face,
She had no idea what was coming to her tonight.
My callous heart feels neither sadness nor regret,
No despondent feelings are shared as I gaze at her still face.
I met her at the gala just a fortnight ago,
Her red dress was an incandescent flame amongst the pale white dresses.
In all of the jargon going on that night I could still hear her sweet voice.
I was merely being bane for she was no joy herself.
I offered her glass of wine but she refused,
Ire flickered inside as she refused my kindness.
My face must've seemed torrid for hers showed terror.
I told her she'd regret this night, as I left.

Murderous Sins

Lackadaisical boy send a litany to your savior

While a macabre ghost haunts your vessel

The paucity of corpses scatter your home

Portend a plague upon your soul

Raze the walls of your insanity

And recant the sins you've committed

They saturate your clothes like sweat

With saturnine spirits, you walk your home

Slough the dead off your back!

Repent your sins!

And perhaps God will be merciful...

Living Machine

The gaze of desire is furtive

Garnished in a way that you lust for

An illusory desert created by mankind

Indigent stomachs from moving metal

My inordinate labor is nothing compared to yours

For I can't jettison my rusty parts

How dare metal misanthrope

It is man who gave you pertinacious thoughts

Without man you'd be a picayune item

It was man who gave you raiment

It was man who gave you cover

It was man who birthed you

So why do you have superior thoughts?

The Battle

"It was a game, a simple game."

The jest, as he dances, yells in the streets

He has gone mad you see

From a great battle he witnessed ages ago

Where roques marked castle sides

And nights guarded the front with great chivalry

The king and queen sitting high in thrones

Like Gods watching mere mortals play

I imagined myself still as a knight in battle

Awaiting the horseman to approach me with stealth

And as I stare death in the face I would not weep

Not a sound would escape me for I would be strong

The idea of a heroic battle is all in my greed

I can taste the blood on my lips but the man

The man he is ahead of me and before I can strike I am dead

And my kingdom is destroyed

The chess piece falls from the table and his final words for me

"Check mate."

Golden Temptation

Mistake my words for knives

And take my kindness for hate to the heart

Allow my love to kill you like a slit to the throat

May my kiss poison your skin

And the bruises I leave mark you for eternity

Allow my core to spoil you rotten like a corpse

Mistake my nails for thorns

And the texture of my skin for Egyptian silk

Allow my body to tempt you like a snake

When gifted with thoughts may commend

Would you take a bite from the forbidden fruit

Or allow it to ne taken in the hands of another

And forever they will remain with the golden apple

Dying World

The poison in the air, it fills my lungs

The atmosphere cooks me like a thanksgiving dinner

And it is all my forefathers fault

He cooked the cells like my mother cooks potatoes

Slicing, burning, and fueling his homes

Like starving children in the streets

Tell me grandfather did you think of the consequences

When you fed those children instead of your own

Instead of your own to make them grow

Inexistent Love

Fields flow in the eyes of a man

With lips bright red you'd think he drank blood

Falling for him was not part of the plan

But my love for him came in a flood

It's like that childhood song "You Are My Sunshine"

He makes me happy even if my skies are dull

And his smile is the sun that breaks through clouds

I know his love is real just by the way he holds me close

This was not love at first sight

In fact he doesn't even know I exist

I'm lost in the crowd of a thousand faces

A copy in all the girls who love him just the same

One day I hope to be more than a lost face

One day I hope to tell him he is my sunshine

Working Class

Is it difficult to allay

The bestial counterpart of life

What demur is there from the city

When rest is nothing more than a convivial treaty

The coterie of metal whisper to each other

The effrontery words in my burnt ears

Embellished with smoke of hard labor

No matter how ephemeral it is, labor is slavery with a new name

Felicitous instrument take my labor away

So that I may become a man and not a slave

Rebel Love Story

"Don't you remember watching that shitty ass movie?"
"What movie?" I ask continuing to dice the vegetables on the now splintering cutting board Josiah has handed me from the sink. It didn't look clean but what more can you do in a world thirsty for water it can't even control it's limited tears.
He bites down on the unlit cigarette as he fishes for the lighter in his pockets. "That one movie with the kid with only one leg and the girl who has to breathe through a fucking tank but she gets tired just walking down the fucking stairs." To his success Josiah takes out the missing lighter with a cry of joy and lights his cigarette with a pleasant smile then tossing it back into the black hole that are his denim pockets.
"You mean The Fault In Our Stars?" I raise my eyebrow and stop the motions of my hands. "And stop cussing so damn much, your kid is in the living room watching his show."
Josiah pays no mind to his four year old sitting too close to the TV watching SpongeBob prance around like an idiot in Jellyfish Fields. It's a miracle this show has been running for almost 30 years with all the original cast members dead, but the young ones don't know, heck they still don't know the difference between right and wrong.

Walking Technology

Kick the screen of your average iPhone

And body slam the nearest tablet

Flip off the closest phone

And blow up the computer at home

 

There's an aux input in my ear

And an outlet in my heart

My brain is the SD card

And my heart is the battery

 

I can't charge myself, it's too hard

And I sure as hell can't switch my brain

But my ears work fine

And my speakers are okay

 

I'm a walking computer can't you see?

So why aren't you addicted to me?

Black Sheep

Draw a line, what do you see?

Just a line is all it can be

It's not something buy in a store

Because, perhaps, it will be such a bore

 

My hands are sore, they are numb

Much compared to any bum

Hard labor leads me to cry

And alone, the sun, leaves me to fry

 

Alike any other, mother and father

Compare me please to my sister or brother

Love me like any other dog

And forget about me when I'm lost in the fog

 

Father in heaven help me

Guide myself out to sea

For all the fishes must be free

So why, out of all the others, why not me?

Snow Kept Love

She walks with grace, like the wind in snow

Never knowing where she's going

Only knowing that she must go

 

Her feet are bare and her eyes are bright

But her skin is paler than freshly fallen snow

Perhaps that's why her nails are like caught stars

 

Lips grey as the rainy skies

Rain not clear but blood red when poured

She quivers in shock not in fear but in cold

 

Cold air fills her lungs but her breast do not move

Her muscles stiff, like rocks pushing against currents

Insanity

It's like a dark void

Do you feel it?

 

It's like jumping into a pool and not being able to stay afloat

Do you feel it?

 

It's like drowning and seeing everyone else breathe around you

Do you feel it?

 

 

It's like having your loved ones wrap their hands around your neck

Do you feel it?

 

It's like an addiction, you have to have it

Do you feel it?

 

Do you feel it crawling in your veins?

How about on your skin?

The slithering is like a snake, crawling up your throat

Do you feel it?

Annoyance

Annoyance is like a virus

Once you have it there is no control

 

Every word, every sound

Like nails on a chalkboard

 

The voices are in different pitches

Do you hear the annoying sounds?

 

Preach your words and preach your slime

Mr. wannabe cat

 

Maybe then your yowls will cease to amaze me

Maybe then your nine lives will become zero

 

Just like your attention span to this poem

Bipolar Copy Cat

why preach something that no one wants to hear?

just so you can feel like you have something interesting to say?

i have bad news for you

you only prey on the weak minded

you're talking but are you really saying anything?

Poem for a friend...

Layers of mouse chocolate, a froth so delicate

Rays of gold in the right angle of light

Unable to fight the urge of losing ones self in it's waves

Each line unique, almost like rays of light

Untamable to the owner and it's creator

Oh how lovely to the curves accentuate great beauty

Many envy the wearer

Many wish to have hold of this great gift

And many will do anything to take it

A shame that it was cut off by envy

A shame that the wearer no longer holds a lock of beauty.

Bright Eyed Boy

Your eyes are like a setting sun on silk green grass flowing to the wind
I have nt slept since the last I saw of them
I long for them, I long for their master
Long for the soft cherry red lips of sweet sugar on mine
With those neon eyes looking back at me when they sneak a peek
During our most sacred moment
The way your eyes shimmered when I said I loved you
They gleamed with tears of joy
Many doubted my choice of te forbidden fruit
But yet, with no doubts, I bit with no remorse

If your love was poison, I'd drink from the bottle every day
If staying with you meant sweet bruises upon my neck, I'd oblige to turn the other way
If staying with you meant this churning pain in my chest, I'd suck it up for you
If every day meant longing for venomous kisses, call me your prey

For your eyes lure me in like a moth to the light
Leading me to a beautiful death
For if I were to die by choice
I'd choose you to take the life of mine for the pleasure of it

What Knowledge?

You say I don't know shit, but who's teaching me?
You say I won't match up to anything, but whose teaching a student that's smarter than them?
You say I shouldn't bother studying cos I'm going to fail, then why are you on my ass about it?
They tell me to give you a chance, but you can't even speak my language
You can't tell me why 2^2 is four because you don't know
You can't explain why Monstresor hates Fortunato because you don't believe in poetry
You don't believe in the great arts, when your stupidity is considered millions to those of art
They can't believe stupidity was converted to a mere human and claim to purchase you for millions
That's the only time people want you
Your the living, walking art of stupidity that everyone wants to show their children
For inspiration? F***k no
They want to show what people shouldn't be
A man who can't understand the basics of life nor how to live it
You can't teach so why are you even here?
Why don't you go back to your home planet of low understatements.

Chaos

Suspicions seem to lure quaint
Moments like these are harrowing
Though many sense it redoubtable
It's all very queer
Everything is on the reel
Causing many to allay

Many crave the allaying

These troubles are quaint

Many sense the harrowing

The leaders are claimed redoubtable

Actions seem to be queer

Many are reeled

How can we stop that reel
When all solutions deny allaying
And all the pain becomes quaint
Foreign leaders become harrow
Things begin to seem redoubtable
Those we follow seem queer

Many of the queer

Seem to be the reason for the reel

Though they continue to allay

Reasoning becomes quaint 

And the injured are harrowed

Although they are redoubtable

Citizens are standing; redoubtable
Times like these are cracked and queer
Shaking figures on the reel
No simple words can allay
Even that word is faded and quaint
The bitter words gnawing; harrowing

The feeling of being forsaken is harrowing

And gods are claimed redoubtable

It all seems rusty and queer

Sacrifice the midnight to save the reel

Everyone is calm: allayed

The bitter memories are now quaint

Have they calmed the reel?

Are we fully allayed?

Perhaps if this moment, this year becomes quaint.

Colors Drained

So Many things I dread

Even during the day

My head is filled with lead

 

I might as well been born dead

Since my first beginning in May

But they allowed me to live instead

 

I lay in my nail bed

Listening to the withering walls say

"Why don't you go on ahead?"

 

Bittersweet memories bang through my head

Reminding me why I should've never stayed

Must I remain with the rotting undead

 

My father once said,

"they drowned you morbidly by the bay."

That explains the mark engraved

 

The sky appears dead

Coated with streaks of gray

I end the madness with a bullet to the head

A deep blood red, I dyed the sky

The Sky Is Empty

The night slips to day

Gray bruises remaining on her skin

She begins to cry

Knowing a moment too soon, it all fell apart

 

Gray bruises remaining on her skin

As the clouds come to wash them away

Knowing a moment too soon it all fell apart

They offer her comfort, but her cries roar like thunder

 

As the clouds come to wash them away

She brings out the sun to show she is comforted

They offer her comfort, but her cries roar like thunder

Can you see the holes in the sky?

 

She brings out the sun to show she is comforted

Wondering when the cloak of night will cover her thin frame

Can you see the holes in the sky?

Of where the moon once stood in her heart

Illa Amittitur

Kisses were sweet

Like silver ecstasy

 

You've given me life

Like using ecstasy

 

You fried me up

Overdose ecstasy

 

I keep relapsing

Abusing ecstasy

 

Collapsing: Deep sleep

Coma of ecstasy

 

And you can't hear me

You use cheap ecstasy

Space Bound

Care to take a walk on the moon?

I do too, but I can't

He's too far gone

And I'm still here on the sun

I'm space bound unfortunately

Left to drift, Left to wander

I hear their voices

The stars they speak to me

They keep me company

They are my friends

I speak to them

Listening to the knowledgeable words as I float

Hoping one day I'll step on the moon

Or just crash back to Earth

Maybe even fry my brain on the sun a bit more

But no, I must not wander

I must not fade into the dark

The Man Who Smokes His Cigarettes

I found him on the corner of Central Ave.

He just stood there smoking his cigarette

Making little white ghost with each exhale

Creating more clouds to shade the earth

He knows I'm watching, he's no fool

Grinning like a fool, I take steps closer

I breathe the musky scent of burnin' tobacco

Yet, he still has not noticed me

I shuffle awkwardly, begging for his attention

Yet he remains still, focusing on the light

Staring with his starry eyes at the people passing by

My nails dig into my skin, like tiny daggers

"How can you be foolish?" I say to him.

"I stand here aching for attention, beg forgiveness,

Yet you stand there puffing away,

Attention on others, making clouds for no one."

"Child," he said to me in his silky calm voice.

It is you who is foolish, Not I.

He removed the cigarette from his pale, chapped lips

Flicking it down the city sewer gutters, swimming down a stream

“You ask for forgiveness when you don't deserve it.

Ask for attention like a spoiled child in a Christmas play.

Little do you know, that with every draw I take,

I breathe in your troubles, your losses, your doubts.

They poison my lungs just as they poison your mind,

But yet you doubt me, my love is for those who follow,

With no Doubt, yet you doubt everyday. For this I abandon you."

And with one last puff..... he was gone.

Moonlight Memories

Oh how this moon light accentuates your beauty

Unfortunately it cannot reveal your luscious curves

That rise and fall like the waves of the ocean

Its light dances upon your pale, white skin

as you lay on the Earths green hair

they merge with your long golden locks upon your head

My sweet beauty, your silver eyes hold mine

in the greatest gaze that I fear to look away,

catching the breaths I hold very dear in my lungs

Though they mean nothing now that your once soft

plump lips have flatten to a gray trole  and

those once vibrant eyes have lost their light

Now that once warm hand stands cold upon my cheek

as your chest slows to a sharp still of death

and you whisper words that will haunt me in life

“I shall comeback for the, my love. And only then

will your sins be punished for the very running

of my crimson blood.” and with that your spirit left this dreaded Earth.

To the Stranger in the Car

To the stranger in the car

I see you day by day sit glumly in the drivers seat

You walk out your apartment, tired

kiss that wife goodbye and sit there for hours, alone

To the stranger in that car

My mother told me tales of men with cars

How once you trusted the road you could go anywhere

To different worlds and far nations

To the stranger in the car

How lonely is your world?

To the point to where you lie about your job in order to save yourself

Or to where even your own wife is blind to your truth

To the stranger in the car

Is there a sense of doubt in that mind of yours

Will you ever move that car from this parking lot?

How long will I sit on my window as my breath fogs this stained window

To the stranger in the car

Your tears are the raindrops to that pile of ashes

Maybe one day, one day you'll rise from the ashes

Like the phoenix you are

Dear Mr. Corner

Dear Mr. Corner, How I love thee

For as long as you exist I can not be brave

Dear Mr. Corner, How can I be?

I crawl to you when the fear the world

Dear Mr. Corner, your shades of gray

are the rainbows I hope to see in this colorful world

Dear Mr. Corner, you know I am worthless

filled with pain and regret, nothing else.

Dear Mr. Corner, when i do something right

I am punished and am sent back to you

Dear Mr. Corner, when others are near

I don’t feel the same comfort as when I’m with you

Dear Mr. Corner, when I am alone I’m weak

but you as a cold friend, make me strong

Dear Mr. Corner, when I see your jagged tattoos

I know that I am not alone when I trace my own

Dear Mr. Corner, You are my only friend

a shame that today we must part again

Dear Mr. Corner, You were my only friend