Dear mother, can you still hear me mother? Your birthday was 15 days in counting. Do you know that it's past a fortnight from your birthday and I'm still carrying the heaviness in my chest like I've just lost you the night before even though it's been two years since your passing and I'm still waiting for the third in counting.
Dear mother, three children bear the loss of their mother but only one truly suffers the most because they've endured your pain. Then seen the countless nights of sleeping in a dirt stained van with only take out foods to eat because we had no place to call home, not even the people we called family could bear us a room with open arms saying "Take this is a home open for everyone." I've seen the nights of walking through sandy mud walking to the free land for a better life only to be returned to a land I once called home only to learn I was not a native there but only you and a man I called father. The nights where I would beg you not to go to work because your body was aching but you had a third child on the way and your second man was not suitable enough to change his ways and give us money to fill our aching bellies and heat our small home on those cold nights.
Dear mother, how could you deal with a child like me, who knew your suffering but could not take it away no matter how hard I tried. A daughter who watched you age far too quickly over the course of eight years, watching your body grow thick and thin being told you had countless illnesses until the real problem was brought into the light.
Dear mother, if you had known you would have life like this would you have taken the risk to quit school and if you had would you still want me? Me, the girl who you have told you did not want because I was a girl and you did not want to bear baby girls because you did not want them to carry the burden you have since you were a child. Countless nights being told I was loved but also that you apologized for having conceived me because you knew I was going to suffer whether I lived a good life or not due to the fact that I was a female.
Dear mother, were your burdens so hard to carry you did not want to give them to your children? Those nights where we would beg you not cook because you were too tired but you cooked us a nice hot plate of Mexican tostadas knowing how much wind it would take out of you. Not even a can of 1 lb beans could you carry on your own because that's how weak your arms were but mother you cooked like you were 24 again working at the diner.
Dear mother, did you know your birthday was on September 13, 2015? That on this day you would've been 40 years old but the good lord took you so there wouldn't be another year three years of suffering. Mother your 37 years of life have not gone to waste.
Dear mother, it is because of you your baby girl is attending college to finish the dream you built for me and in four years I will be helping people like my younger brother because that's the kind of person you build me up to me. You taught me there's nothing more important in this world than a good education but you also taught me that there is hope in this world because there are people who care about me enough to help me finish the journey you helped me start.
Dear mother, thank you for your knowledge and kind heart.
Dear mother thank you for not giving up on me.
Sincerely,
Your Baby girl
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